Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Tendulkar wakes up as 18 years old, nation celebrates the miracle By Pagal Patrakar

Source: Fakingnews.com Sunday Magazine


Mumbai: India went into revelry and partying as soon as news broke out this morning about master blaster Sachin Tendulkar having woken up as an eighteen years old boy. The incident was first reported when Sachin’s wife Anjali called up the police in the morning to complain about a Sachin lookalike having intruded in her house. Hours of interrogation by the police and family members and some preliminary medical tests conducted by doctors later confirmed that it was indeed Sachin Tendulkar who had miraculously turned into an eighteen years old boy.

“I was woken up by screams of Sara and Arjun, who came running into my bedroom. Following them came this boy, who looked exactly the way Sachin used to as an eighteen years old. I was scared as this boy tried to engage me in a dialogue, claiming he was Sachin himself. I freaked out when he caught Arjun and tried to tell him about the cricket match they played yesterday in the living room. I immediately called up the police. I was surprised over the fact that the boy didn’t look worried over me calling the cops. Instead he kept on talking and came up with staggering minor details about our daily life. I almost fainted listening to him.” Sachin’s wife Anajali is believed to have said.

The eighteen years old Sachin lookalike was taken to the nearest police station where all the friends and members of Tendulkar family gathered. Everyone was stunned by the precision and accuracy of minor details that this boy could come up with about almost every event related to Sachin’s life. His claims of being the real Sachin Tendulkar received a vital shot in the arm when the family doctor of Tendulkar confirmed that the blood samples, fingerprints and retina of the boy matched seamlessly with those of Sachin Tendulkar. There was nothing that could prove that the boy was telling a lie.

“It’s a miracle. We have no explanation or idea how it could have happened, but this boy indeed seems to be our own Sachin Tendulkar.” the doctors came out of the police station to inform the huge gathering of fans and journalists outside, causing the gathering to burst into chants of “Ganpati Bappa Morya” and “Sachin Tendulkar Zindabad”. A few among the crowds also shouted “Jai Maharashtra”. Soon the news was flashed on all the television channels of India, and journalists debated the causes and effects of the miracle.

After the news was confirmed, people were seen dancing in the streets and distributing sweets to each other. The whole India seemed to have gone into frenzy and the daily life came to a standstill. Most of the revelers were in their late 20’s or early 30’s in terms of age.

“It feels I too have become a teenager again. I want to do everything that I could do in those days. I want to sing ‘chaddi pehen ke phool khila hai’ loudly. I want to read Chacha Choudhary comics. I want to see Mahabharat on Doordarshan. Oh god, I can’t tell you how long is the list, and I feel I can do all of it. I feel I can’t die! This is the best thing that could have happened.” Anand, one of the revelers shared his excitement.

Although a sizeable number of Indians joined the revelry, some school going students and the senior citizens thought that people were overreacting.

“I don’t know what the hype is all about. It’s a rather scary thing and a strange medical condition that should be probed further instead of being rejoiced upon.” a sixty years old citizen suggested, while a school boy wondered if the development could put Sehwag out of the cricket team.

Despite such subdued reactions by a few people, the news was largely seen as a welcome development by most experts. Sensex jumped over 300 points as soon as the markets opened for trading. Share prices of those products that are currently being endorsed by Sachin Tendulkar skyrocketed and regularly hit the circuit breakers. Some analysts believed that Tendulkar might renegotiate his recent endorsement deals after becoming young again.

Amid all this frenzy and excitement, Sachin Tendulkar quietly went to some undisclosed location with his immediate family members after the news was confirmed that he indeed had turned into an adolescent boy. Most of the media houses were frenetically trying to contact him but Tendulkar was not available for comments. But it provided opportunity to hundreds of his supposed friends, relatives and neighbors to come on television and recount today’s developments.

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